It’s that time of year again
when weather changes; light changes and layers come out to keep us warm. It’s that time of year again when traditions
and aromas of childhood and warmth fill the stores and environments we occupy.
Maybe this time, the past
traditions and changes don’t fit our
outlook of life woven with loss or grief. Our pockets may be laden with heavy
loss. Another change? What can we do for ourselves as autumn shifts
from the sunny days of summer to the shadowing and hibernating days of fall and
winter?
In loss, one often has “ rolled with the
punches” long enough. One has held a
stiff upper lip and smiled with uttered condolences when all one wanted to do
was scream like the costumed children that will soon be at your doorstep (and
not the good kind of screaming with joy).
Routine in loss can help to lessen the blows
of change. Old routines may not foot the
bill but adding a different rhythm may. Below are a few suggestions that helped
me after the death of my spouse. I sought
refuse through the winter with the following.
See if any strike a cord with you or if you can find a way to tweak the
ideas to create a “ temporary routine” in this transitory time. Your personal space, where you take yourself
and what you place around yourself is a powerful tool in transition and
healing.
Start the day with artificial
sunlight. Phillips’ go Lite is compact
for travel and 15 minutes of exposure while checking emails or eating breakfast
will cast potential doldrums away and help with body clock for the evening’s
sleep.
Add some Chai tea or aromatic
tea to create a soothing sense of home or comfort. Buy yourself a new mug with
a daily affirmation or a new pattern that attracts you.
Light a candle in your personal
space as a daily ritual. Essential oils are also an easy and economical
aromatic tool to peak your performance or calm you down. You may discover your senses have changed as
well.
Hang crystals in the windows to
catch daily sun. They create unbridled movement and unexpected play when you
may not “feel” playful. Mobiles hanging from the ceiling can provide the same
with a gentle breeze from a heating register or overhead fan.
Volunteer with children or take
classes with people you do not know. Why?
No expectations! You can tell
your story if you want, but a fresh page requires nothing but you showing up in
the form you are now. Children and
toddlers are a physical and mental refresher.
At bedtime, a new cozy robe,
slippers, bedside journal and book.
These are something someone can gift to you as well. A simple
routine of warm milk and honey or chamomile
tea and biscuit may nurture the evening and be can be an empowering new
routine.
Remember
your dormant resiliency. Nutrition for yourself can be found in a new routine. This
is a time of storing for spring’s green growth and your own new buds.
What
can you imagine? Just add one ingredient. Looking forward to the
sprouts!
