Friday, June 19, 2009
Consider color http://tinyurl.com/lrjd37
Last week I moved to a new town. Everything I viewed was new, nothing appeared in focus. One new corner looked like the next. Everything seemed gray, nothing sparked my interest, except I knew this was the place I had landed and it was up to me to find my way. Similar disorientation accompanied me with the death of my husband but on an even larger scale, but in that transition I was in the same city I have lived in for years. Little came to life or made sense even in its familiarity.
Color sparked my interest yesterday in this new town as I researched a new exercise routine to get me out of my new home on a daily basis. Color also moved me forward. It was a colored cloth attached with coins that sat on a table in a store window in a nondescript strip shopping mall. The owner sold bellydance items and taught dance lessons in Latin and Middle Eastern dance. I called the owner and was encouraged by her to come try a lesson that evening. That color sparked my interest and moved me forward, making a positive change happen to me in a nondescript colorless day. It happened to be the first day the owner had placed the glitzy laden accessories in the window.
Often without thinking, we gravitate towards certain colors, whether is be in the clothing we wear, the wall colors we choose to surround us or the bedding and towels we use on a daily basis.. What colors do you gravitate towards these days? What colors soothe you? What colors make you happy? What colors surround you? You may have found that your favorite colors have changed.
Color therapy, used in complementary and alternative medicine,uses colors for their proposed healing abilities in treating emotional and physical condtions. It's premise is that certain colors cause a set response in an individual. There is however a lack of scientific evidence supporting color therapy. It's effectiveness and safety have not been studied completely.
Color may not help us heal,but it could help bring of spark of light in a day that feels dreary.
In grief one can feel lifeless, gray and dormant. Pick your favorite color and splash it somewhere. You can change it and yourself each day.
Blessings of the rainbow.
Friday, June 12, 2009
One of the most difficult spaces in the home to address after the death of our loved one is the closet.
Remember there are people and organizations willing to help you move forward when you are ready. Enlist whatever support you need. Others can benefit in what you can offer to donate or sell.
Resources for closet revamping include:
Listing your items on Craigslist.com can help you sell items locally with no advertising cost. Most individuals will pick them up from you directly.
Lighten your space and enlighten your heart!
Thursday, June 11, 2009
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
As we grief in our loss,many friends,relatives and neighbors want to help but do not know how. Too often the help is within the first month when you may not be ready to receive or even know what to suggest to them that may truly help you.
- Leave a new magazine or short note on the doorstep for 8 consecutive weeks without speaking. Just ring the doorbell.
- Deliver food in one serving containers that can be frozen. Light meals,like soup,chili,pot pies, where multiple ingredients are mingled. This means good taste,good nutrition and ease of preparation.
- Give your friend a grocery list and have them deliver the items to you.
- If you are not a cook and have kitchen items, swap the items with the friend in exchange for one meal a week for 6 months. Maybe make it a Tuesday tradition for each of you.
- If you have tools or equipment in the garage you are not using, donate the tools to the friend and ask to exchange for "X" numbers of handyman service hours in the next year!
- Placing an affirmation into an inexpensive frame or send a new one each week. We all love to get surprise packages.
- Offering to have your lawn service cut their grass or shovel the snow for 3 months.
- Give a flower a week for 52 weeks. Place the flower in recycled jar and leave on the doorstep. Kindness abounds.
- Give your friend a comfort box to open when they are ready. Place inside: new slippers,Twizzler's,candle,book of short stories, an Etchasketch,glass ornament for window, a fuzzy blanket,a stuffed animal with name tag to fill out for it. Allow fun!
Monday, June 1, 2009
- Capture the view. Reposition the sofa to catch a better view of the outside or move a rocking chair next to a window with a small reading table beside it. Nothing but nature provides unsolicited entertainment.
- Take a leap. Move the sofa away from the wall. It will not necessarily make the room look smaller and may provide a coziness that is most welcome. Covering the sofa with a slipcover in a soft chenille or ultrasuede fabric may be comforting in your reclining times of repose.
- Punch it up. This is the time when some vibrant or new color pillows can dazzle you with little expense. You may want to add a burst of color with a small area rug to anchor your sitting area and thereby making it feel more intimate.
- Light it up. Remember besides opening the drapes for natural light, up lights behind plants, floor or table lamps and full spectrum lighting for the "blues" are all comforting.
- Swap meet. Swap out a sofa for two over sized chairs. The chairs need not match, only have a similar proportion to each other. You can be cradled more in such a chair and when company visits the conversation may be more comfortable than on a big solo piece of furniture. If the loved one you lost has a favorite chair sitting vacant sliding it into another room may be helpful in your transition through grief. If it fits you and its presence harbors no terrible memories let it be. Give yourself permission to change things and change them back again. Nothing is static.
- Nesting notes. If during times of this transition through grief you truly "nest" and have a difficult time moving around the house, set up your nesting spot, wherever it might be with some of the following: phone, notepad and pencil, tissues, pleasant scented candle or diffuser with essential oils. If in the past you always burned a vanilla scented candle perhaps a peppermint or citrus would be suggested to assist with concentration or a lavender for re"nester", but rather a "roamer", having difficulty in sitting down for a few minutes. All of the above may still assist you, along with some freshly brewed chamomile tea or a decaffeinated warm drink or soup. Taking time to rest is a gift you give yourself.