Thursday, June 17, 2010
Room For Change: Unexpected Delivery
Within loss and grief, order and control tend to rise to the top of priorities. Everything is spinning out of control and most things that were familiar are no longer.
It is easier to imagine the future with its neatly tied bow and the pain dispersed back where it needs to be, that is NOT in us.
We create expectations for others to soothe us, we create expectations of a looming doomed existence and we create expectations of ourselves to be strong to overcome this situation.
Yet the real victories come when an expected gift arrives at your doorstep, like a baby bird chirping in your nearby tree.
The real victories come when you enter a room as yourself without the thoughts of "what are they going to think?"
The real victories come in the expected talents that you did not perceive within yourself. Those dormant and unexpected talents often rise to the surface during grief. Why? Maybe they surface because our skin is so transparent and our core exposed. It may not feel good, but unexpected personal gifts can arise.
Surprise! I do not like to write. I have never liked to write, yet it seems as if it keeps coming to the surface. Another surprise!
My first book is in its prelaunch, Room for Change: Practical Ideas for Reviving After Loss. It will be delivered to Amazon.com within a month. Yes, an unexpected delivery, in an expected form. I would rather physically do for others than write, but in my widowhood I have found that doing for yourself is what supports you through grief.
The book will be an expected delivery for others in grief and I know it will provide practical and non threatening ways to make the support they need their own. Of course there is fun in the book and unexpected treasures for grievers to find.
My son-in-law is a professional bagpiper and is present at many celebrations, be they parades or weddings or funerals. Yes, funerals are a celebration of gifts on the horizon. Or as he says as he heads out the door to a funeral, he is there to put the FUN back in FUNeral.
Look for the unexpected deliveries as fun and not futile. Await the unexpected gifts arising in you. They are there!
Write and tell me about them!
Blessings undercover abound!