Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Room for Change: Facing Your Change and Value(s)
Recalling what we were before a significant loss is ingrained within us. How often have I said, " I am not strong" and others say "Look what you have done or accomplished within the last 6 years." It will be 6 years this month that my husband died, followed by the passing of two brothers in law and then my father. Change and internal turmoil and chaos were the norm.
In loss and grief we have the chance to re-evaluate how we define ourselves as well as our relationships with others. Your set of friends may change. The places you frequent may change as well. Most of the time may be spent at home ands that is why I am such a big advocate of making your home supporting for you. I remember being so mad at "friends" that were not friends after the death of my husband, but then again I try to remember the ones that became closer and the ones that supported my change especially during my initial volatility.
Your life values may change in loss and what you personally value in life may follow suit. It may feel dark and lonely in the beginning but doors open and sometimes by unexpected strangers that help with your personal change and support. Be kind to yourself.
Honor your change as you would honor the growth in someone else. You might be surprised what you have become! (stronger and wiser in the least)