Saturday, July 24, 2010

Room for Change: Recreating a Rhythm in Loss

Benjamin Franklin's Schedule

Nature is full of rhythms. Our lives are full of rhythms. The ones closest to us awaken us when we are busy and shake us up when they take on a different pulse. Our heart rate may soar and our respiration accompany it. Our eyes see some pending emergency and our body races to respond to it with adrenaline and action.  
In loss and grief we are our bodies are often working on this edge of heightened awareness and activity.  Our bodies and mind coordinate to move us down the road and accommodate the change in our routine, schedule or outlook.

As time passes however our bodies need renewal.  Just as I have written about in my book , Room for Change, some things about change have been hard for me personally.  De cluttering ( or Destacking as it is) and now setting a schedule for myself.

My schedule has been a non schedule , with the freedom of time in my widowhood and empty nest phase of my life, very open.  Much of my time is "free" with non scheduled activities. That has proven a blessing and a curse for my personality.  Creativity may abound in me, but I may start too many projects at once. Flexibility may arise as well, but I feel there are no "have to's " in my loss. Accountability may be sacrificed as well.  The accountability is to myself as well as others.

Benjamin Franklin's daily schedule is shown here, with it's simple yet profound rhythm.  In loss, if we can find a rhythm that supports us in our changes, time will certainly be full in both growth and nurturing of our body and mind.

As I write this , I am sitting on my sofa with my dog at my side procrastinating about my body's need to hit the gym or sidewalk this morning.  In loss, scheduling time for yourself can be a new found activity. Schedule it in your day. Create a rhythm that takes you places within and outside yourself.
Nurture your nature in loss and recreate a rhythm that supports you today.

And one more thing, as Ben himself writes on his daily schedule, "What good have I done today?" Remembering being good to yourself counts as well!  I am getting off the sofa right now, I promise!

                                             Room for Change: Practical Ideas for Reviving After Loss