Thursday, July 9, 2009
Room for Change:Nourishment for Body and Mind
The kitchen, the room designated for food preparation and eating, is considered the heart of the home in many cultures. When people gather it creates a natural haven for conversation, fellowship and nourishment. Nurturing yourself with good food that supports you is important at all times, but especially during grief with the potential stressors of change.
Savor the Start. Start your day by honoring the progress you are making. Ideas might include a new mug filled with your favorite drink, the lighting of a new candle as you prepare breakfast or the reading a fresh quote from an inspiring book. Honoring yourself for your achievements with gratitude can be a great morning platform.
Support Yourself.With change arises opportunities to create new patterns to support yourself. It could be having dinner in a newly created space or simply adding a new routine. If you find that the television is your dinner partner, go with that. Set yourself a portable tray in the kitchen that can hold a plate, cup and condiments. Place a colorful washable place mat underneath it for quick clean ups and to prevent sliding. Consider buying yourself a new place setting to bring some newness to the dining experience. You can find inexpensive ones at a Dollar Store or even T.J. Maxx. It could have the colors you like, a motive or even a hobby. Little pleasures like these are non threatening and if you change your mind, the investment was not great. Using a nice piece of crystal stemware often reserved for special occasions or china plate is also pampering. Why wait? Celebrate the progress you have made as little as it may seem.
Consider Carryout. Getting Carryout and going to a local park to eat is another option for your solo dining experiences. You may be solo, but watching nature or a ball game or hearing children play can have a soothing effect and change your perspective if only for a short period of time. It may be a great spot to share with your dog as well.
Request the best. When friends do ask what they can do for you, maybe this is the time to ask for some mini meals that will freeze. You will benefit from the support of friends and sharing food that can nourish you both. Receiving is as important as giving , so look for opportunities to share this time. Maybe your friends could present you with a packet of "coupons" for a selected number of dinners at their home. Often it is easier to decide when you want to go out and when to stay home and this option can be helpful for both of you.
Open up to Opportunities. The first time my mother and I went out to dinner, I cried at the bar as we waited for our table. She inquired what was so amiss. I spilled forth, " I don't want to be a barfly." She chuckled lovingly and hugged me. Expressing yourself is great. New experiences can be trying but can be rewarding as well. She found " barfly" napkins at a novelty store and now we had a standing joke. Shortly after my husband died, my father did as well .We laughed with our new roles but could cry with our common stories.
Nourishing your entire body to support your new activities is of utmost importance in moving through grief. If your eating spot has changed, make certain it is comfortable,bright and colorful in flavor. You deserve the best!